new beginnings

The Loss of a Once In A Lifetime Sort of Friendship…..

Today, write about a loss. The twist: make this the first post in a three-post series.

We had gotten to be very close friends.  We loved each others kids. We loved each other.  We hung out together, we laughed together, we cried together.

There were several families that felt this way together.  Our kids would play together.  We worked on projects at our homes together.  We prayed together.

Mostly, we laughed and enjoyed God and life together.

Then one family moved to Tennessee.  That was hard.  Our kids enjoyed each other and got into mischief together.  I tried to ignore it and, well, you can’t.  You just can’t when you are that close.  She was the one I could not talk to for weeks and then just start up a conversation like we had never left.  She showed me that I could be more than “just” a mom.  She and her husband, built an addition onto their home.  She did just as much as her husband did.  I admired her for that, and so much more.

Then they moved to Tennessee.  I was so happy for them.  But so sad at the same time.  We prayed for them and blessed them.  I am still so happy for them!  We were able to see them when we were on vacation last April.  It was like we hadn’t been apart at all!  We again picked up where we had left off.

Then some things happened at our church and one family we were very close to decided that they didn’t want to be friends with us any longer.  They had made a new connection with a new family.  And suddenly, it seemed, they were gone too.  I never understood what happened. I don’t have any idea if I did something or what.  I have come to realize though that it was not a very healthy relationship for me to have had.  It makes me very sad because I loved her like a sister, but I also realize that its a good thing that we separated.

There were so many things going on in our church and with our “family” members.  I became numb to it after a while.  So many families left and were upset and hurt.  I became numb and hurt and kind of shut down.  I turned back to God and cried on His shoulders for months.  I didn’t know what to do.  All the people close to me were now gone or estranged from us.  I couldn’t talk to any of the people that had been close to me.  So I talked to God.

Another family had moved to Tennessee- the opposite side from the first family that moved there.  I did help them move.   She had been one of the first friends I had made after coming to this church.  Another woman I loved as a sister.  She taught me also that I could do and be whatever I wanted to be.  She did home remodeling for a living and did it very well.  She could fix almost anything!  She helped me to break down walls I had put up in my own life that said that I was a mom and a wife and I had to act like one.  I couldn’t do the things that had been traditionally men’s jobs, that I had enjoyed doing.  Now, she drives a straight truck in the mountains of Tennessee.  She is so brave!!

Now, one is jealous of my cool tractor.  And yes, it is MY tractor!!  I told them both a few weeks ago, that I had been traveling with lots of tools in my car because I had been building gardens at our church.  They laughed..  It was what they taught me.

The loss I felt over those families leaving or breaking relationship, has been hard.  At times, it had been overwhelming.  God has brought healing into those areas of my heart.  But I still remain somewhat cautious about friendships.  There has never been another friendship like the friendship we had.  I love dearly the friends I have been given now, but it still is not like what we had.

I am happy for those in Tennessee.  They still miss what we had too.  We miss them terribly.  Now we realize that we ALL want to continue the relationships.  It has been kind of hard to continue it.  None of us has been very good about keeping in touch.  I think each of us has had to go through some form of grieving.

The friendship has changed just because of the distance.  But we can text or email or fb each other and that helps.  I pray that there can be a continued relationship somehow.  Its still hard and I am not sure what it will look like. My hope is that I learn the roads to Tennessee much better!!  And they the roads back to Wisconsin too!!  But we will see.  Life has this strange habit of changing our plans!!

I do have some other friends that have come back into my life or have been there through this all.  And I realize that what I had back then was very special.  It was an amazing time of friendship and growth and love that will always be a treasure in my heart.  I am sure it is in all of the friends from that season too.

I thank God for that time we had. I am positive that somewhere in eternity, we will be connected again!  When that day comes, look out heaven!!  You thought there was lots of laughter and joy!! Wait til we all get together again up there!!  Even God will shake His head and laugh with us!!

Looking forward to making God cry with laughter!!  He may even laugh so hard the tears run down HIS legs!!!  HAHAAHAAA!!!!





6 thoughts on “The Loss of a Once In A Lifetime Sort of Friendship…..

  1. I understand…, I haven’t had a friendship like that here since I lived in Californa….and I’ve lived here for 21 years. But my experience has been that it was much easier to make good close friends there, than here…never understood why. :-/ Different culture, deeper tolerance? I’m not sure. My hope and prayer is that those of us who have lost friendships, for whatever reason, would find comfort from God, as well as new Godly friends who are loyal, honest, fun, and who love us for who we are, in the new seasons of our lives. 🙂


  2. Hi Vicki, I enjoyed your story. We’ll be laughing together for sure .. me thinketh. Good friends are invaluable.

    On another note, browsing your posts; my daughter studied equine facilitated learning with Franklin levinson from when he visited us here in oz. She enjoyed this method much. I just thought to mention this to you in case it is of interest.

    Nine children and homeschooling … you’re obviously Miracle Mum. I had two (interest based learning) and much as I love(d) it, it sure is full on.

    God bless Vicki, you rock!



    1. Currently, the horse daughter is studying a method based on parelli-type horsemanship. She loves it! I have heard of the way of the horse it seems, but not sure that we have experienced it as of yet.
      I sincerely hope we do meet up there in heaven and laugh and laugh!!!
      Thanks so much for reading my blog!!


    2. I just looked at the way of the horse website. So this was before Parelli. Very Cool!! I will be checking out his stuff and directing Horse Daughter to this site also! thanks for the info!!


  3. Hi Vicki, thanks for the “like” on my blog. Really connected to this story. Must happen to all of us, has happened a lot with me, blogged about it recently. Not sure what it is, but some of it is I think we outgrow each other and don’t realize it. Or/and we ignore the “issues” or “tensions” or signs that are there all along, because we won’t the relationship. Don’t know. I can honestly say that most of the people that drifted away I don’t really miss. It was good while it was good, and now there must be more good coming.

    Many blessings.


    1. thanks for reading and commenting!
      Sorry you have had so many friendships drift apart. I have had that happen too. this one though was different.. It was that sisterhood kind of friendship.. the one that should last forever and will if I work at it!! Blessings!!


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