family history · parenting

That One Track Mind

One track minds.

Ever have that??

We do.  ALL. THE. TIME!

Currently its “can we take the rabbit to the fair?”  I have told him several times that yes, we will take it to the fair and it WILL be there by the noon deadline.  I just want to get this written first.  I know that if I don’t write right away, the day is lost and it will not get done.  Not the worst thing in the world I realize.  But there are several things that have to get done right away or the day is lost.

Like clean up the kitchen from breakfast.  Currently, in our house, there are several people who are up and out before everyone else is really awake.  They get their coffee, eat their breakfast and leave.  Cleaning up is not what they do.  Then the rest of us get our coffee, eat and clean up the kitchen.  This morning, it included yesterday’s mess because we were gone all afternoon and evening.

One track.  Oh yea. That’s what this post was about.  I will get back to that.

My family tends to focus on one thing.  The one thing they want to do and do it right now.  “I want to take my rabbit to fair.”  “Can we have ice cream?”

Often times, when they were younger and would do that, I would say something like, “you can say that 3 more times and then I will punish you and you will not get to do/have whatever it is you want” .  It usually worked because they knew I was serious.

If you kids even think you might not be, its all over.  Never mind.

But if they know you are indeed serious and this is not an empty threat, it works.  I keep count.  They make the statement, I reply “That’s one.”  By the time I am to 3, their little minds are thinking, “do I want to chance this?”

It works.

I need now to figure out how to make it work now for the adults. There are things that I can recognize and do about it.  I can redirect them and that works.  But often, things still come back to the same track.  So I need to recognize it, stop it and redirect it again and again until there is understanding.

Did you ever hear of something called “family scripts”?  I had never thought about it, but there is indeed such a thing.  It happens when there is one subject that comes up over and over again.  Like this morning with the rabbit going to fair.  Like when your kids say over and over, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!”

Unfortunately, they take over and a real conversation cannot happen.  Its actually a part of the “One Track Mind” problem.  Often just stopping the conversation right there is enough.  Again, it has to do with taking charge of that script, stopping it and moving it into something more productive.

Again another area we are working on.

I need to get moving on into something a bit more productive now.  Have an amazing day!!







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