So the other day I wrote a post about what is going on Around here.
In that post, I wrote that I thought that the Duggars had some parenting method I agreed with. The idea that they have the older care for the younger kids. Now- truthfully, I had never really watched the show that I can recall. May have been once a long time ago. I just see their faces everywhere- in the dumb tabloids in the grocery store check out aisles, on the Yahoo home page.. You get the picture. I see articles here and there on fb or wherever. Sometimes I click and read them other times not.
This past week I heard a few times about how the Duggars raise their kids. The older kids take care of the younger, specifically. In my post I had said that I agreed with the way the Duggars were doing things in their home.
I should have done some research.
I have learned that their sort of having the older kids take care of the younger does not match what I think of. Apparently, the older kids are completely in charge of the care of the younger children. COMPLETELY. Picking out clothing, feeding, homeschooling, you name it.
That I am not ok with. A friend pointed out that what we do as a family is work as a team with a common goal of working together. That is my personal goal. I want to work myself out of a job- but not before my youngest are ready for that! I am in charge of my younger kids. It is my job to raise MY children. Not theirs. Its my job to homeschool them, to train them to teach them. I will answer to God for what I do as a parent to raise my children well. Not my older kids.
My older kids help with the care of the younger kids, yes. Its a part of being a family. We work together- hopefully- not against. (as I did when I was a bratty little girl and thought I could raise my baby brother better than my mom did. She had done it a few times before, but I was certain I knew much better than she! She just smiled that knowing Mom smile, allowed me a little freedom in this and guess what??!! She, again, was right. She did actually know what she was doing!! -shocker!! )
By the way, I have now watched an episode of the Duggars and I know why I don’t watch the show. Let’s just say, our family works like that some, but well….. One episode will be enough for me. They have a very nice family. That’s all I will say about that.
My friend put it best when she commented on my fb page: “Sometimes shows such as this put a yoke on others and only serve a something to which causes comparison. This is not love, but pride.”
Thanks, Friend. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. You put into words, what I could not. We certainly battle against comparison as Mothers of Many, don’t we?? I do not want to ever put a yoke on someone else, and if I have, I apologize. It was never my intention!
Which is a quick point I want to make: I am not you. You are not me. We have struggles that are unique to us. I may have many kids. You may not. You may not have any kids. That is perfectly fine with me. Again. I am not you. You are not me. It’s okay. It is not a contest.
I bless you to be all that GOD has created you to be. I bless your choices to live the way you want to live- with kids or without. With a husband or without. I bless you to live in peace with yourself and God with the choices you have made, or will make.