new beginnings · stories · The Bible

I Had A Hard Time Getting To Sleep Last Night…

I was so excited and happy.  I spent quite a while writing this post in my head, and actually came out to the computer to do that, but for some reason, my computer would not connect to the internet.  So I had to wait.

I had to get my IT guy to fix it.  First thing this am he did get it fixed for me.  Its a huge help that he lives here!  (Thanks so much Son 3!!)

Last minute, on Monday, I entered Christian Flash Weekly, fiction writing contest.  It was one of those things where I read the prompt, got up to get more coffee, and had the first line in my head by the time I got back.  I thought, why not??  So I wrote out a short story.

They LIKED it and I won!!!  One of the guys in the contest consistently wins the fiction contests and I have seen his name as judge of other  contests as well as winning regularly!!  I was shocked!!

Here are the comments and then the story at the end.

I’ve never been to the confessional before, but I felt right there with the characters, a shadow listening to the whispered words of the men. I did wish for more description though to help me better picture the characters. But the illusiveness was a good touch, it could be anyone. Nicely done.
Vicki Reinke

You set up your setting well without getting too detailed. The reactions of Matthew really helped set it up. I liked the turn of using ‘I want a puppy’ into an almost survival scenario. It was a world I was curious to read more about, a world you should consider expanding upon if you haven’t.
Charles Short

This was a good story. As I read it, I felt like I was in a dream. Throughout the story it felt dreamy, and I felt the jar of being woken up at the end.
The winner was so hard to pick this round. Every piece was fantastic in its own way making this an even harder decision.

But a decision must be made.

And the winner is…

Vicki Reinke

This world stuck with me long after I had finished reading the story. I kept imagining possible things that could be going on in this place. Why Matthew was such a sour person, what made him hard. And why was Carmen able to stay so optimistic. I would’ve happily kept reading far after the story ended. Great job.



The Puppy

I get to post this sweet badge proudly on my page now.

“Anything??!!  You could have asked for anything and you asked for that??!!”  sputtered Matthew.

“I am so sorry, its what popped into my head at the time.” Carmen weakly replied. 20141207_172631

“The angel told you to ask for whatever you wish, here in this godforsaken place.  We have little food, just some water, and you ask for a puppy?? Now??  Here??!!!  What were you thinking??” blasted Matthew furiously.

Tears slowly fell down Carmen’s face as she listened to Matthew continue on about the uselessness of a puppy here in this place.  The puppy licked her face and wriggled about her.  He loved her that she knew for sure.

It was ugly here.  No one loved anyone else.  It was each man to himself.  The crude shelter that she and her brother, Matthew lived in was not hiding the sound of Matthews rant.  Others shook their heads and smirked.  They knew that Carmen had, yet again, let Matthew down.   The community of outcasts knew how Carmen liked to dream and make things up.  Now somehow she had gained an animal that was just going to eat the precious little they could scavenge for themselves, and was blaming it on an Angel.

Imagine!  An Angel coming here to this place.  The imaginations of Carmen was well known around the community and most thought she was just a “little off”,  as they liked to say.  Now she was claiming that a puppy was given to her by an Angel who had told her to tell him the desires of her heart.  It was just a little too much for them to believe.

Happily, she would find what she needed.  Sweetly, she would sing songs for whoever would listen.  She was always helping those around her that could not do for themselves.  Most found her to be a little odd, but they secretly enjoyed her presence.

Stubbornly, she held on to this new little wriggling bundle.  “He has provided for me and you all this time.  We have found what we needed when few others have been able to.  He will provide for the needs of us ALL now!” And she turned from Matthew and his rant and ran from the crude shelter.

Mark 9:23 (ESV)

And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can!’ All things are possible for one who believes.”

This made my weekend!!




7 thoughts on “I Had A Hard Time Getting To Sleep Last Night…

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