True confessions time
I love my kids. I really do.
But lest you get a false picture of them because on here, I always want to paint a positive picture.
My kids are naughty.
Currently, there is an argument on facebook over who is the naughtiest. Seriously.
Ok, the fact is, no kid is perfect. None.
Sometimes they just do dumb things. Like stick green beans up their nose. Or legos.
They make dumb choices. Say dumb things. (ok- I do that, but I apologize!)
Some of them swear horribly and I hate that. (Yes, I am well aware that, back in the day, I swore worse than any one of them-That is NOT a challenge, children.) (Oh, and by the way, those of you who are reading this and knew me then and still love me, I am SO SORRY!!! Thank you for sticking around anyways!)
I am sure none of your kids swear terribly and I am so glad that they don’t!!
Some I want to smack upside the head on a regular basis and say “knock it off!” (Truthfully, I do that every day to several of them. The boys, and some girls as well, do indeed, need a smack upside the head every day. Parenting tips from me. I think I am gonna write a book of great parenting tips!)
Sometimes I need to sit down with them and talk with them and let them know that what they are doing is really stupid and here is how I know. Been there, done that. Got the scars to prove it.
Note: I always make the distinction between what they are doing and who they are. Unless I am really ticked off and they were really stupid. Of course, then I have to go back and apologize. There has to be a clear distinction. I don’t ever want them to believe that who they are is stupid. I do however want them to understand that they have a choice and it is what they are choosing that is stupid.
And here is another distinction I make that I learned from my Mom; You ALWAYS Love them, you don’t always like them. She actually survived my childhood and young adult years and also has the scars to prove it. She has had time to think about what she could have done better, and yes, she still thinks about those things and thinks about how she could have done that better.
Moms- It’s a normal part of Motherhood. We ALWAYS wonder could we have done this or that better….. It’s part of the Perks of Motherhood. Yay. Don’t worry, you will usually get another chance to do things a different way because for sure, whatever it was, there is gonna be a second try to get it right. It’s just the way of kids.
Now, when my kids are doing stupid, I call her. She has had time to sort through some things and has experience. Yes, no matter who you are, what method of child rearing you have decided to stick to, the fact is, your mother is still a phone call away and she DOES have experience to back her up. If you don’t have a mother you can call, an aunt or a grandmother will work just as well.
Currently, I am rehashing in my head all the things I may have done wrong to my kids, and its kind of a long list. Its what I do.
I guess what I am saying here is this: Motherhood is hard. Kids don’t always do what we want them to do. They make sometimes choices that aren’t always the best. Our job is to lead and guide them and help them navigate through all those choices without taking away the natural consequences of their bad choices.
Do what you need to do to get the tools to help you navigate parenthood. Preferably, get someone who has been there done that and done it successfully, and ask them for help when you need it. Watch what they do, watch the successful people and do what they do. (Life tip, this works in many areas!)
What do you do when your kids are doing stupid and you have to guide them through?? What tools have you found to help you through??