family history · Get it Together · Vicki's Ramblings

“They are late for everything.”

I overheard this from an old friend as I rushed in to the event, with several of the kids. She had her back to me and didn’t see me arrive, flushed and rushed, irritated with several of the kids, yet again.

That remark stung.

So much so that I remember it like it was yesterday.

I don’t intend to be late for everything. It just happens. Sure lots of people with several kids can get to most events on time or early.

I sometimes can.

Now, granted, I do have a problem judging time accurately. I will very often misjudge the amount of time it takes to prepare or to drive to an event. I don’t know why, I just do. Always have.

It’s a gift…..hehe..

But add to it what it takes to get some people in the household motivated to get moving- “Because. We. Have. TO. LEAVE. NOW”!


One can’t tie his shoes in the car.

One has to make sure his hair looks good.

Another needs to be sent back to change their clothes yet again.

Someone can’t find the other shoe.

Wait. Did we make sure the dog is in the house?

And these are the TEENAGERS!! Imagine what it was like when they were all little!!!

It was a good thing there were older siblings along to make sure everyone had pants on!! Shoes? Well, that was optional for the littles. OH! And to make sure we have everyone. Seriously. I don’t know how many times we started to leave and I had forgotten to make sure we had everyone and someone conveniently called out, “wait for ______!”

Very helpful.

Obviously, that child we needed to wait for was old enough to be out of a car seat, which was, back then, about 5 or so. Hopefully, they came out with shoes and pants on or they just went as is.

Sure I have tried making sure they know the time is coming and we have to leave by such and such a time.

Sure I have tried giving them a heads up that we leave in 5 min.

I tried getting everyone ready an hour early. Then something always happened and we still were rushing out the door.

Most of the time, I just end up tired.

I even have been known to just leave without them. My mantra is “If you are in the van when I leave, you GET to go with me!”

That is a motivational statement. (You have my permission to Tweet that.)

Honestly, I try to be on time. And when I am, there is a CELEBRATION!! Seriously, I do! I have earned it!!

That comment stung. Still does. I have forgiven that person. I am sure that I have said things that sting to many others without realizing it.

Another area I am working on.

Let’s just agree to give each other grace in the moments. Grace to be late- you don’t know what has happened along the way. Grace to accidentally say stinging things- you don’t know what has happened in their day either.

But, be honest. “Hey, that stung.” “I’m so sorry.”

Done. Move on. Learn from it. Its so much easier than having it stuck in your head years later. And best of all, does not form a wedge in a relationship. Some people like to keep their wedgies, and that is fine. Its their choice. Uncomfortable and ugly. But its their choice.

I am choosing no wedgie.

So, to that person who just might read this blog post, “Hey. That really stung. But I forgive you.”




6 thoughts on “

  1. Yay to no wedges. You are a treasure no matter what people say. There is great power in forgiveness isn’t there, its so hard sometimes to know when to keep your mouth shut & when to say hang on that’s not right. After a hurt moment I take a step back reflect on my children, my home, my relationship with God my treasured friends & nod to myself yep all good.


    1. AAww… Thanks so much… Yes- Forgiveness is such a gift. To us and to others around us. But also, God says we must. Taking a step back from the situation is a great idea. Then choose to forgive.


  2. I seem to notice that the people who are on time seem to be the people that get sleep at night. Might be a correlation with the number of children they have. 😴 Just threw a birthday party for the four year old with the relatives… Texted them an “invite” a week before the scheduled date. One of the aunts with no children said it was too short notice, gee I was kind of impressed with thinking that far in advance!


  3. Great message! Forgiveness is the key to true happiness in life.

    BTW: I often find myself saying to my ruggers when it is time to leave some “fun” event is: “I brought __ (# of) kids with me, and I will be leaving with ___. At this point, I don’t care who those kids are. So, if you don’t want to be left behind, get into the car right now.” 🙂


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